Name : Nicole Liemphetcharat
Age : 36
Where Are You From? : Singapore
Currently Residing In… : Phnom Penh, Cambodia
What Do You Do For A Living? : A bunch of different things but primarily, I run my own consultancy firm and provide global support for an international moving company. I also help develop businesses for our pastry business in Cambodia.
AEW : When did you meet your other half?
NL : In 1998 but the attraction really only happened in 2002.
AEW : Who “courted” whom?
NL : There was no real courtship as we were already good friends for almost 4 years. We were spending a lot of time together and out of the blue, this door opened and we walked right in.
AEW : Legal rights of marriage is still being debated in many parts of the world, especially Asia – what made it important to the two of you to get married?
NL : We wanted to get married a few months into the relationship as we were a great fit together. However, we’re both very rational and decided that the smart thing would be to live together and wait a few years. Three years later, she proposed and I said yes. We wanted to take the relationship further and it felt absolutely right.
We were living in Singapore at that time and got married in Toronto, Canada. I had spent six years living there before so it was like a second home. Getting married was never about spousal benefits or any legal implications as we were still living in Asia. Getting married was about us celebrating the absolute certainty of sharing our lives together in the presence of our family and friends.
We were living in Singapore at that time and got married in Toronto, Canada. I had spent six years living there before so it was like a second home. Getting married was never about spousal benefits or any legal implications as we were still living in Asia. Getting married was about us celebrating the absolute certainty of sharing our lives together in the presence of our family and friends.
AEW : Is there any particular significance to a gay marriage? I’m comparing this to a normal one.
NL : No. Marriage, straight or gay, is about two people committing themselves to each other. It’s about promise of strength and support to ride the roller coaster of life together as a couple. It makes no difference whether you’re straight or gay!
Gay marriages are susceptible to the same joys and problems of straight marriages. Financial issues, children, family, infidelity, career, compromises and everything that comes with being married affect both groups the same way.
Gay marriages are susceptible to the same joys and problems of straight marriages. Financial issues, children, family, infidelity, career, compromises and everything that comes with being married affect both groups the same way.
AEW : I’ve watched ‘The L Word’. Not sure if you have. But do you think commercial Hollywood has warped the general public’s (re : non-gay community) view on this whole gay thing or has it actually made it easier for people to “come out”?
NL : In my opinion, “The L Word” does not give an accurate portrayal of gay women. There are probably women who live that lifestyle but what we see on the show seems closer to male gay culture than the general lesbian culture.
Hollywood in general has helped raise awareness, tolerance and acceptance of gay people, making it a little easier for gay people to come out. Gay people are now portrayed as the girl or guy next door with real lives, careers and responsibilities. Through Hollywood, gay people are no longer merely seen as sexual deviants.
However, the reality is that sex sells and so gay-centered and/or gay-friendly shows such-as “The L Word” will continue to “expose” the gay sex life, however accurate or inaccurate it may be. This could negatively affect how the general public view gay people and bring us back to being sexual deviants.
The effects of depicting straight people sleeping around on shows are different from watching gay people sleeping around. Sure, most of society frowns on watching this sort of free sexual behavior amongst straight people but when seen in gay people, it’s easy to fall back on the old notion of social and sexual deviance.
Hollywood in general has helped raise awareness, tolerance and acceptance of gay people, making it a little easier for gay people to come out. Gay people are now portrayed as the girl or guy next door with real lives, careers and responsibilities. Through Hollywood, gay people are no longer merely seen as sexual deviants.
However, the reality is that sex sells and so gay-centered and/or gay-friendly shows such-as “The L Word” will continue to “expose” the gay sex life, however accurate or inaccurate it may be. This could negatively affect how the general public view gay people and bring us back to being sexual deviants.
The effects of depicting straight people sleeping around on shows are different from watching gay people sleeping around. Sure, most of society frowns on watching this sort of free sexual behavior amongst straight people but when seen in gay people, it’s easy to fall back on the old notion of social and sexual deviance.
AEW : I’m actually very interested to know about family support from both your side as well as your other half’s. Were they supportive or did they threaten to disown you guys?
NL : Coming out was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I’ve been gay since I was a teenager but only got comfortable with it when I was in my early twenties. I just never thought I’d come out to my family as my parents are fairly conservative. My brother has known for years and has always been supportive.
I decided to come out to my parents after we decided to get married. Getting married is one of the most important steps in my life and my parents have always been there for me so I wanted them to share this moment.
After breaking the news, my Mom’s heart was broken and there were lots of tears and questions as to how this could happen to me. The next 5 months were very difficult for my Mom and I. Eventually, she came around, accepted it and attended our Singapore reception. My brother broke the news to me and it was one of the happiest days of my life!
My Dad’s reaction caught me a little off guard. Growing up, my Dad was always the more liberal parent so I thought he’d accept it. When the time came, my Dad was clearly upset but maintained his composure and was rational as always. He just said that he was not thrilled at the idea but he’s not going to try to stop me as it’ll get us nowhere. So, I will do what I choose to do and we are to keep him out of it. Additionally, he asked that I not announce the news to my uncles and aunties.
It was about six months afterwards before Leigh Ann and I went to my parents’ house together again but when she finally did visit, both my parents were civil and polite to her. Now, years later, everything’s pretty much back to normal and we stay at my parents’ house when we are back in Singapore. Mom’s visited us everywhere we’ve lived and vacations with us whenever possible.
Leigh Ann’s family is a lot more liberal….they’re Americans! Her Dad attended our wedding in Toronto. When I first met her family in Hawaii during her mother’s funeral about 4 years ago, they all welcomed me with open arms and instantly treated me like family. When we moved to Hawaii in 2007, we lived upstairs from her brother and his family. Her family made living in Hawaii very memorable for me.
I decided to come out to my parents after we decided to get married. Getting married is one of the most important steps in my life and my parents have always been there for me so I wanted them to share this moment.
After breaking the news, my Mom’s heart was broken and there were lots of tears and questions as to how this could happen to me. The next 5 months were very difficult for my Mom and I. Eventually, she came around, accepted it and attended our Singapore reception. My brother broke the news to me and it was one of the happiest days of my life!
My Dad’s reaction caught me a little off guard. Growing up, my Dad was always the more liberal parent so I thought he’d accept it. When the time came, my Dad was clearly upset but maintained his composure and was rational as always. He just said that he was not thrilled at the idea but he’s not going to try to stop me as it’ll get us nowhere. So, I will do what I choose to do and we are to keep him out of it. Additionally, he asked that I not announce the news to my uncles and aunties.
It was about six months afterwards before Leigh Ann and I went to my parents’ house together again but when she finally did visit, both my parents were civil and polite to her. Now, years later, everything’s pretty much back to normal and we stay at my parents’ house when we are back in Singapore. Mom’s visited us everywhere we’ve lived and vacations with us whenever possible.
Leigh Ann’s family is a lot more liberal….they’re Americans! Her Dad attended our wedding in Toronto. When I first met her family in Hawaii during her mother’s funeral about 4 years ago, they all welcomed me with open arms and instantly treated me like family. When we moved to Hawaii in 2007, we lived upstairs from her brother and his family. Her family made living in Hawaii very memorable for me.
AEW : Had you not been given the blessings from your family – would you have carried on with the wedding?
NL : Absolutely! When we decided to get married, I knew my parents would not be jumping for joy but it was something I wanted to do, something I was absolutely certain of. At that time, I wished my parents would be supportive but I also understood how difficult it was for them. It would have been great to have them both at the wedding but I was going to take that step with or without their support. The marriage is between the two of us so the only reason not to get married would be if we didn’t feel like it would work out between us.
AEW : Do you actually have some sort of hope for the future of ‘pink weddings’ for other gay couples?
NL : No, not really. I am grateful that the Gay Movement has given us the right to get married legally. However, marriage is marriage, straight or gay. Marriage is not for everyone so it should only be undertaken with absolute certainty. Do I hope to see gay marriages legalized in Asia? Certainly. But I won't hold my breath!
AEW : Thank you, Nicole! That was very insightful indeed! Here's to happy marriages - straight or gay :)
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