Name : Salina binti Abd Aziz
Age : 38
Where Are You From? : Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Currently Residing In… : Kuala Lumpur
What Do You Do For A Living? : I am a PR Consultant
AEW : I heard your Mom passed away recently. I’m truly sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?
SAA : Thank you. I’d like to think I’m holding up well. Being busy at work currently helps.
AEW : Are you missing her? What about the rest of your family? How are they doing?
SAA : Would you think I’m terrible if I told you I’m not missing her? Though I know I’m going to feel it keenly one day. It’ll be like a guerilla attack because when it happens, it will be so unexpected. Something like that did happen to me very recently. I dreamt of my mom one night, two months after her passing and throughout the next day, I was crying buckets. I cried at home, on the road and at the same time, stave the memories off as there are people about and I had to focus on the job at hand. It was a difficult, sad day. I think of her everyday…I remember her last days and that grips me.
As for the rest of the family, they are holding up well..or rather, as well as they can handle it. We don’t refrain from talking about our mom and recall the things she did and said.
AEW : I don’t handle bad news about death very well. As in if a friend breaks the news to me, I would actually be lost for words. Because how do you comfort someone who had just lost a loved one, right? Do you think people who handle these situations badly are,… hmm.. morons?
SAA : No, of course not! Come to think of it, how would you describe badly? Being absolutely insensitive? Not saying the right words but knowing the intent is genuine?
AEW : I guess more of not saying the right words, but the intent is genuine. And I suppose moronic are those who are absolutely insensitive, yes? Given the same situation – reversed – how would YOU handle a friend’s bad news related to death?
SAA : I’d gently tell the friend that it is some comfort that the person who passed on has gone back to God. Death is, after all, a sure thing in life. And give the person a long hug. No point in telling a friend to be strong, but you can remind them to keep the good memories alive and grieve for a little while.
AEW : I know death in any possible way is hard to deal with. But which do you think is harder to face? Sudden or Anticipated?
SAA : Definitely the sudden ones. It rips you apart worse.
AEW : Actually, I should ask you – what are your thoughts about death itself?
SAA : I think it’s a continuation to the next step. That death itself is an experience a living person will go through and now you have shed the shell, there are no more barriers.
AEW : Do you think you are a strong person? In handling you know, the emotional aspect of losing a loved one? How do you think each individual could survive such situations?
SAA : I don’t know if I am. There are the normal days and there are days that the tears just keep making tracks. I take it all as part of living and just go with the flow. We feel different emotions everyday on different things, don't we? Anyway, I can’t speak for individuals on how they would survive the emotional aspects of facing death. It would be a great disservice.
AEW : How would you like to die?
SAA : In my sleep.
AEW : Don't we all :) Thanks, Sal for doing this. I know it is a difficult topic. And because I am bad with the right words, here's a long hug.... :)
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