An Encounter with... A Mother

Name :  Sarah Lau (I'd like to leave out my married name just in case I ever have any piano  students or whatever who know me J) 

Age : Forever 21.  Just kidding, unfortunately.  I'm 33 

Where Are You From? : Malaysia

Currently Residing In…  : USA

What Do You Do For A Living? : I mostly stay home with my kids but in the last year and a half, I started teaching piano from home

AEW :  Thanks for doing this. I know you were just a new “mom” all over again and probably extremely busy doing Mom-type-stuff with your troop. So, how many in the troop now?

SL :         Four

AEW:   I’m actually curious – you know, how it’s hard in life to say that favoritism does not exist? But it must surely exist even if just a minute level, yes? How do you balance your time, love and affection between all your children?

SL :      To be bluntly honest, I found that if anything, I've always favored the youngest - until the next baby came along, that is! Although I don't really like using the word "favored", since it's more of a feeling that the youngest child's needs seem more pressing and important at almost any given time.  Also, the youngest always seems cuter than the others J but I think that's normal.

AEW:   I’m pretty sure your children are all very individual by characteristics. How does each one inspire you differently?
SL :      My oldest son is very easy-going and stinkin' funny.  He inspires me to let go and let life happen.

My younger son (by 2 minutes *laughs*) is very detail-oriented and makes comprehensive plans about things.  He inspires me to know when to be organized and have passion about the things I choose to do.

My older daughter is literally the sweetest, most affectionate person I've ever met in my entire life.  Everyone says this about her.  She inspires me and everyone around her, for that matter, to be joyful and loving in all circumstances.

My younger daughter, who is only 7 weeks-old is just awe-inspiring with her amazing cuteness.  When I look at her I'm inspired to smooch her all over and smell her baby head, and just be a better Mom all the way around.  She also inspires me to have more babies, even though before her I was very certain I was done!  I'm still kinda certain... but when I cuddle my baby I just don't want the babyhood stage to end!

AEW:   Awww… How sweet! At the other end of the spectrum, how does each one annoy you differently?

SL :      Oldest son always has to have the last word.

Younger son wants to have things so planned-out that it drives me crazy sometimes, the questions he asks me in order to accomplish all he wants.

Older daughter is sooooo affectionate that sometimes I just need a break, because I'm the complete opposite and I am not touchy-feely at all.  She needs a huge amount of my time and sometimes with the baby it does get exhausting emotionally.

Baby sometimes annoys me when I'm dead tired in the middle of the night and she won't sleep!  *smiles*

AEW:  Kids, huh. I don’t have kids of my own but I’m not the “mother-material” and nothing’s ticking at the moment J So, do describe – how does a ‘tough day’ typically look like for you?

SL :      Can I be really honest, and make other parents hate me by saying that my kids are really, really, easy?  They are extremely well-behaved and mind me very well.  So if I ever have a tough day, it typically revolves around not getting enough sleep the night before because the baby kept me up, and then crashing until lunch time, then having to drag myself up to fix meals for the older kids, although they help with the meals and clean up after themselves and then feeling guilty that my older kids watched too much TV that day because I was tired/busy with the baby, and then my husband calls and is going to be home late and I'm just ready for some adult interaction! 

And the other thing is a tough day also usually involves teaching piano.  I teach 3 days out of the week and although I like and enjoy teaching, I'd rather spend time with my own kids.  I put so much mental and emotional energy into teaching that by the time my students - especially the little ones - leave, I'm just drained and done, and I have a difficult time meeting my own kids’ emotional needs after that.  I dread having to keep the house clean for students and I dread worrying about whether the baby will stay asleep while I'm teaching, and wish I could just have a day with ONLY my kids and do whatever we want.  Teaching is not a long term thing for me. I started doing it out of a need and while I'll always keep a tiny handful of students around – just  the ones I truly enjoy and who are gifted – I do not want to be a full-time piano teacher my whole life.

AEW:   Hey – you know what? Your tough day doesn’t sound all that tough now that you’ve put it that way. But I can definitely imagine the energy-draining part of teaching! Away from ‘tough days and all’, what about the ‘high notes’ for you where your children are concerned?

SL :      I love days when my husband isn't working, of course.  I also look forward to my non-teaching days because then the kids and I can all just chill-out and enjoy each other more.  I can let the house go if I want, and I can sleep in if I want, and we can go anywhere we want to! 

AEW :  Wow – that sounds super-awesome J I’m quite sure every mother strives to be the best and impart knowledge and information to their children. What is the single most important knowledge you would wish to impart to your children, aside from religion?

SL :       I have always worked very hard to teach them how to live healthy lives all the way around.  They are smarter about health creation than any other children I know as a result, and whether or not they stick to the lifestyle and diet things we do when they get older, will be their choice - but I will at least know that I have done my best to show them how to have great health.

AEW :  Nice one J How would you want your children to remember you ‘when the time comes’?

SL :     I would like them to remember that although I was not a perfect mother, I always did my best.  I want them to remember the times I try to sit and spend time with them, whether collectively or individually, and the fun times I try to create for their enjoyment.  I'd also like them to remember me as a smart and strong person who did what I felt was best for myself and my family, regardless of what the norm is.  I want them to remember that their Mother wasn't afraid to go against the flow.

AEW : Well, Sarah, thanks for your time again. Whilst I have no wish to be a mother myself, I think motherhood must be one of the toughest job in the world. All the best to you and hope you will have a treasure trove of "high notes" watching all your children grow up *smile*

** Photo of Sarah and Family by Sarah Anne Photography